Violence is within you

Violence is within you.

No society is free from violence, in a life time once you face violence against you in any form and in the developing country like ours we have facing different kinds of violence from the time of birth where some of the scholars highlights that the tradition of name giving to you after your birth is also a violence as the society dominant over you, please think once, are you happy with the name given to you? May be or may not be but you may want your name in different way, may be not all of you but some may be as we all know exception is everywhere. Later you face different unwanted activities over you where our culture, tradition, social beliefs, religion, economic condition, political situation, technological boom and miss use of technology, psychological behavior, sexual desires and more entity of our society plays a key role over the violence by saying this I am not willing intentionally to blame the whole cycle of the society but some of its characteristics reflects the violence. Where in the context of Nepal, violence is everywhere but major effects goes to women who suffers more in number.  We do have a misconception within us as while we talk about violence  we  mostly imaging it’s a violence against women but it’s not only that we can have a many evidences where violence against man were faced as well as violence over LGBITQ and  women are also there in the society. Every time man is not only the cause and reason of the violence where most of the people thoughts that male is main cause, but every human entity in society is responsible for the violence, just for an example, let us look at the micro level of the society where a mother-in-law enforce her daughter in law for different kind pressure work, work load stress, torture and so many which is  most common in society like ours  as well on the same time violence against man also can be seen where no. in comparison VAW is more. Where the violence against the LGBTIQ is everywhere in society like ours. So, here we mainly we focused over the domestic violence against women, which is the major effected part of social development.

Violence against women and girl (VAWG) is a global epidemic that kills, tortures and maims

Physically, psychologically, sexually & economically. VAWG takes several forms. It also includes domestic violence; women are not safe even in their own home. Every human being has basic right to live in their home peacefully, but women’s basic right is isolated due to violence.

There are only two previous small-scale population-based studies conducted in Nepal that document nonconsensual sexual experiences reported by young women. First, a small study conducted by Women’s Rehabilitation Centre (WOREC) with 60 women in the Udayapur and Kathmandu districts of Nepal, showed that 50% of women reported having experienced nonconsensual sex in marriage. This study found that many married women experience sexual violence from the day of their wedding (Women’s Rehabilitation Centre, 2002). Another study conducted among young female factory workers in Nepal showed that 1 in 10 reported being victims of sexual coercion (Puri & Cleland, 2007).

In 2007, the Government of Nepal has recognized the problem of SVWM and made a law that acknowledges forced sex by a husband to his wife as a form of marital rape and has made provision of punishment of sentence to jail for 3 to 6 months depending on the type of sexual violence (Government of Nepal, 2007).

Violence against the women is rooted in the structural inequalities between men and women. And the cases of child marriage is high in the Nepalese context even though different agencies are working to reduce the child marriage and this is one of the cause for violence where the use of the alcohol and drugs are the primary cause in some of ethnic groups mainly in the areas where such alcohol and other kind of drugs are consumed in unmannered way where unemployment and the unfair salary for the same time period of work (economic violence) and lack of political awareness and education and lack economic generating involvement of women, uneducated, sexual dissatisfaction, lack of public awareness, lack of the legal provision, poverty, socio-cultural factors, traditional beliefs : “Husband are God” and foreign employment, gender inequality, supremacy of men and love marriage and sexual dissatisfaction of the husband and lack of the development are the secondary cause and the violence against the women where the foreign migration of husband for employment is also playing the sever role in violence. And men are not only responsible for the violence against women where women themselves are also responsible. The culture and mindset that men are consider superior to women is the hidden cause, which is mostly consider as the psychological behavior and stereotype beliefs and the growing culture of using technological and social sites as a right to information and entertainment where its negative impact to the society can be visualized through the different way but we can’t judge it from its drawbacks it’s the miss conception among the people those who misuse their rights of information. Where on the same time we can find some kind of myths among the users of cellphone who is playing critical role in the promotion of violence. The common form of the violence seen in the community were physical assaults, verbal abuse, family boycott and mental torture and in some cases sexual violence, rape and attempt to rape, variation in wages. Where women’s involvement in decision making is rare in the case of rural family and joint family where the male plays a vital role even if the women are in level of decision making in some cases they are the mother-in-law in case where the daughter-in-law have to face certain type of bias which is also a form violence in micro level.

Here if we develop a social mobility mapping we can see that most of the women are working for more than 16 hours per day but still they are performing non paid work where on the same time male partner can earn and he can rule over the same person who is working for 16 hours without any economic benefits, even in the urban society if  both  of the partner are working for salary after  work and before work female partner should prepared food, look after children and many other household activities need to be performed by the women. We can see that in some of the rural society that the female are allowed to keep the money earned by their male members of family as they are the saving pot where they are not allowed to make decision of the money which are kept safely by themselves. They need to ask for the male or to those who are the bread feeder, which brings conflict over self that is a micro form of  violence, we never  should understand that violence is only see it also can be felt at individual level, as stress, tension, disturbance are violence at individual level or within self.

Where religion promoted patriarchal values and stipulate, superior status of men and dominance of men in comparison to women, it also encourage stereotype behavior: i.e. silence of women and control, power, aggression and superiority of men.

“Domestic violence is subset of violence” and domestic violence normally considered that violence which is caused within family. Domestic violence can be both structural and direct like bokshee pratha in Nepali culture.

The causes of domestic violence are intimate partners, family, society and community where the consequences of domestic violence are physical effects, social effects, mental effects and emotional effects. The forms of violence  can  be  categorize in different ways as they can  be make specific or general, where I have seen it in following forms

                                                                                                          

1.      Sexual violence: - Rape/ Attempt rape/ touching sexual and sensitive organs and gazing   over the boobs, tits, getting pleasure by rubbing with sexual  organs, unwanted sex, forced sex etc.

2.      Physical violence:-  Beating/ punishment etc.

3.      Economic / Financial violence:- different wage for same work, boycott economic benefits, unpaid works, economic rights (property rights)

4.      Psychological violence:- torture/ scold/ hectic behavior, quarrel, black mailing and more like

5.      Social/ cultural/ traditional Violence:- Bitch concept, dowry system, early marriage,  social boycott, untouchability, impurity, Chhaupadi

6.      Political Violence:- less emphasis on participation, quota variation,

7.      Technological Violence: - violence attempted through use of technology, bluff call, visual porn, publicized different pictures in social media in fake name and many more.

Women are more likely to be victimized by someone that they are intimate with, commonly called "Intimate Partner Violence”. Impact of domestic violence in the sphere of total violence against women can be understood through the example that 40–70% of murders of women are committed by their husband or boyfriend. Studies have shown that violence is not always perpetrated as a form of physical violence but can also be psychological and verbal. In unmarried relationships this is commonly called dating violence, whereas in the context of marriage it is called domestic violence. Instances of IPV tend not to be reported to police and thus many experts believe that the true magnitude of the problem is hard to estimate. Women are much more likely than men to be murdered by an intimate partner

Though this form of violence is often portrayed as an issue within the context of heterosexual relationships, it also occurs in lesbian relationships, daughter-mother relationships, roommate relationships and other domestic relationships involving two women like mother in law and daughter in law (sasu and bhuwari).

The overall goal of presenting paper is to reflect the situation of violence, causes and its consequences forward to solve and reduce the violence against all  human beings where that may be to anybody, this paper  assess the violence situation and the root cause among the people in the ground level of the country.

Violence is not inevitable. We can do much to address and prevent it. The individuals, families and communities whose lives each year are shattered by it can be safeguarded, and the root causes of violence tackled to produce a healthier society for all. The world has not yet fully measured the size of this task and does not yet have all the tools to carry it out. But the global knowledge base is growing and much useful experience has already been gained. This paper only attempts to contribute to the knowledge base. It is hoped that the paper will inspire and facilitate increased cooperation, innovation and commitment to preventing violence around the world and it will be considered as the achievement in the field of violence against women, where the violence against women is the major obstacle for the development of any sector and it brings very critical situation towards the society where we exists.

States have an affirmative duty to protect the human rights of women and they must exercise due diligence to prevent violence against women. Because of the nature of violence against women, its prevalence, persistence and high incidence throughout the world, States must develop expansive strategies in order to fulfill their international obligations effectively.

Some of the following strategies that may cope to reduce the violence if that can be incorporated into national initiatives against domestic violence and considerations that States should contemplate when taking steps to address domestic violence:

·         Reduction of poverty

·         Reduce inequality between groups and ethnic community

·         Reduce the gap between gender

·         State should ratify the international human rights instrument

·         Awareness program should be launched and primary prevention should be developed

·         Transparent and quick response to victim should be provided

·         States should ensure women's economic empowerment through equal remuneration for equal work and increased job opportunities for women, as well as equal rights to property, inheritance and family income;

·         Education facilities and system should be more practical where grass root people can be aware.

This is only the context represent the violence where if it is not addressed in a proper way it may generates the conflict at different level and it grows in a huge disorder which is very hard to address, timely management and reduction as well as address and implementation of the law that are early developed and need to make some strong rules and regulation, so, that every individual can feel the peace within self and the prosperity and development of the society will take a lead.